Random opening

It was a beautiful morning. The birds were singing, the sun was shining and the day was, to be honest, hoping like hell that nobody would notice just how horribly clichéd it all was. Being a day’s far harder now those hairless apes have gained sapience and started using fancy phrases like “literary device” and “gross overuse of formulaic opening”.

Luckily, everyone was a little too busy to notice, what with the apocalypse and all.

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Yeah, another opening that will never get a story. I don't even know what the apocalypse is. I like to think it stands by itself, though.

Seriously?

I never expected that one day I’d be calling a real life event clichéd.

Especially the apocalypse.

I mean, that’s the kind of thing that you’d expect to be pretty unique. The end of the world is quite a notable experience, really. One-off, even. But no, this just feels overdone.

I’m pretty disappointed in humanity too. It’s not like we didn’t have plenty of preparation. The amount of books and movies released on the subject over the past 10 years is insane. Everybody should have at least some idea of how to deal with them. This should have been over in a month!

But no, a few zombies and it’s the end of the world. How fucking original.

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Author's notes:

This is the opening to a story that will never be finished. I seem to write a lot of those. I do like the idea of a zombie apocalypse story where the protagonist is a massive fan of the genre, and uses that knowledge to survive while at the same time complaining about how clichéd reality is. The only problem is, I have no idea what happens next.